Following the example of the British, and with ample encouragement from Ajahn Amaro, a dozen lay people undertook the Upasika training on the full moon of July 1997. The ceremony took place in the Dhamma hall at

Abhayagiri. Each person came forward to the Ajahn, offered candles, flowers and incense, bowed three times and said: ‘My name is ______, and I would like to request the Three Refuges and the Five Precepts.’ Then, when each of the people gathered for the ceremony had made their offerings, the whole assembly made the formal request together in Pali.

After the ceremony was over, Ajahn Amaro gave a short Dhamma talk and words of encouragement . He pointed out that the intent of Upasika ordination is for individuals to make a personal commitment to the practice and to the community, not to create some kind of favoured group of lay people.

Taking on the Training by Upasaka Santideva

I may not have been the only one who, upon receiving information about the Upasika training, started off by checking whether this was something I could do without much extra effort. I did. I scanned the list hoping to find only a small number of items that I was not already practising. The list of guidelines is, in brief, to take the precepts, attend gatherings with other Upasikas, visit the monastery, observe the moons, practice meditation daily, go on retreat, attend a monastery festival, learn the Teachings, support the Sangha, and keep at it for a year.

And after a few years of picking up good habits after retreats, I was already chanting the precepts on the lunar quarters as well as beginning and ending each day with three bows and (hopefully) some meditation.

The Upasika training seemed so easy that I thought making this commitment may be a good idea for others but, "hey, I'm already doing all this, so why bother?"

As the time of the ordination ceremony approached, I read over the five precepts in more detail, thinking I probably should take them seriously after ordination. The first four were a breeze in their crudest form: no killing, stealing, adultery or lying. Then there was the fifth precept:

‘I undertake the precept to refrain from consuming intoxicating drink and drugs which lead to carelessness.’

No matter how hard I tried, I could not re-interpret the fifth precept in any way that allowed intake of alcohol. And believe me, I tried. I tried to convince myself that it really meant for us not to get drunk, that a glass of wine with a meal or a champagne toast were OK. After all, the fifth precept is different from the other four precepts in that it is not a moral precept, just a ‘good idea’ to prevent carelessness.

The prospect of giving up alcohol was not appealing, even for just a year. For someone who grew up in Sweden, as I have, being a teetotaler is just above mass murderer in cultural acceptance. The word gets stuck in my throat if I try to speak it. Yet, my interest in drinking had steadily declined over the past few years, not from trying to "be a good Buddhist," but from observing the consequences. Apart from during a recent visit to France, it was not a big part of my life. Nevertheless, I was resistant. Maybe, my conniving mind suggested, I'd just give it up for the three- month rains period.

In the end, I could not convince myself that there were any loopholes regarding The Fifth. I decided that it would be instructive to study what happens during opportunities for alcohol consumption -- watching what arises in the mind and learning from this. So, on the day of the ordination I took on the precepts with the intention of making my adherence to them one notch stricter than before: zero tolerance on alcohol and drugs.

I had heard monks and nuns give Dhamma talks on the happiness and paradoxical freedom that comes out of renunciation. This had never been a strongly-felt personal experience until the weeks after the ordination. Amazingly, it felt great. Whereas before, on each occasion when offered a glass of wine or beer by friends or family, I'd have to decide whether or not to accept, now I was clear on the answer. There was a joyousness and spaciousness. I suspect this comes from being certain that I was going to do what was good for me, each and every time during this year.

Taking on the Upasika training has been a positive experience for me. It shows that being just a little bit more attentive, simplifying life just the tiniest bit, is of immense value. The potential for continuing this process, gradually refining the adherence to the other four precepts, provides a worthwhile challenge. Following this path in the company of other Upasikas is an added blessing and surely inspires me to go on. But I still dread the thought of giving up one more thing.

FK